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joyrocksyourfaceoff
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Name: Joy
Country: United States
Metro: Olathe
Gender: Female
Interests: Bright and/or shiny things;
Hardcore and/or indie music scene;
Crayons and construction paper;
Your mom; Emo boys in tight pants;
Greek; failed attempts at writing;
Irish drinking songs; O yes, and my omnipotent God figure
Expertise: Comebacks;
Professional Distraction
Occupation: Vagabond
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  quackthump
Member Since:
2/18/2005
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| I haven't written in more than two months; apologies to all of my non-existent fans and readers.
To those I don't talk to: I quit the job at Blue, as much as I loved working at a bar. (No sarcasm there; I did like working there, it just wasn't good on a few levels....) Anyway, I left, and 8 of my paintings, as far as I still know, are up on display. I need to put my cards by them.
I have a "business" now. I'm selling redesigned tshirts, handmade jewelry, wire art, and paintings. I have fun; it has potential. I'm making lots of connections within the KC fashion scene, which is really exciting. I'm going to be doing some modeling for local designers. Crazy.
I interviewed for a job at Allen Press in Lawrence today. Minus the topic of science, it is the job I've always wanted to do. It's a proofreading/copy-editing position-either temp to hire or permanent, full time.
And I saw a little studio place that's cheap. Kinda dumpy, but I'd live in a box if my mom weren't living in it too.
So it is feasible for me to be out of the house and working the job of my dreams (minus the science part) within the next week.
And of course that is amazing, and life looks fantastic, and my best friend is coming home soon, and I have so many opportunities and exciting things happening....yet I'm ridiculously depressed and irrational and irritable. I cannot take any criticism, I cannot concentrate for longer than twenty seconds, I'm completely disconnected from my emotions, I treat my friends (what two I have) like shit, I have no joy.... MMMMERRRHOGPH! (frustrated noise)
I'm irritated at myself for being so damn "blessed" and yet being a basketcase.
Meh.
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| The time is 10pm. Do you know where you friend Joy is?
In her parents' kitchen, making chocolate chip pancakes. And if that didn't make her cool enough, add some of the worst emo-music ever created (d.c.) and a fat beagle, and you have a grand old time.
And this shitty music makes me remember when I bought tickets for the show at River Market and we snuck my camera in and sat on the cement, leaving in the middle of the set, letting the music follow us to the car. I'm pretty sure we went to Quik Trip after that. What's better than a 59 cent drink after a 60 dollar show? And now I think about how I wouldn't pay 60 dollars for any show, never mind some boy.
Work keeps me busy--I like it. I like the experiment of people. I don't know what the constant is though. God knows I'm not it. Maybe pancakes should be the constant. Of every experiment. Ever. Except I just burned mine.
The dietitian implied that virtually the only reason I feel more emotionally stable is because eating less shuts down neurological somethins. Fuck it. Why do I even bother?
I have my wagon back. She's a bitch. My Olive--1992 Buick Century woody station wagon with a wayback seat.
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| I'm ever a fan of the ambiguous "you." And you think you're so clever for figuring out who you is/are. But you're right.
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| I....miss Velma....want to paint canvases....am glad I got the horse out....don't know what to do about you....wish I had my own place....miss my red hair, thanks to Run Lola Run....had a really good, long talk with Mark's mom....am not going to see the Decemberists, so find someone else to go with you....need to do my classwork....am too easily distracted by novelties....sweat way too much to have friends....need a warm, rainy day....fell flat on my face at work, am bruised....trust too much, then not enough....like my crappy music, though I agree with your opinions....need to do laundry....wish I had more than one work shirt....am proud of myself for working so hard and keeping my head up....
am getting there....
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| I really like my job. And I'm really sleepy. I don't want to go back home. Living "on my own" in some fashion has been really nice--not having to call and check in. Come see me at work. But I don't work til Monday night.
I hate my nervous habits.
I really miss Valerie.
I love Mark.
Life is good, even when it seems to bite you in the ass.
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